Thinking pose

learned so much in such a short time

How long has it been since I had my doubts about Ardor House? Since I started wondering whether I shouldn't find an agent? November. Only a few months. But I have learned so much since then.

I remember when I was a teenager I was puzzled that I couldn't remember what it had been like to believe in Sinterklaas and the tooth fairy, even though I could remember many other things very clearly. The things I had learned in Science class also just clicked into place, and I couldn't fathom what it had been like not knowing how eyes and mirrors worked, for example.

Now it seems I have lost my faith in the publishing fairy in a similar manner. I blame John Scalzi with his down-to-earth wisdom. I can't remember what it felt like to believe that this novel I'm writing would be a good novel on an international scale, that getting it published would probably lead to a movie deal and I had to record names of friends who wanted to be extras. And I only realised this weekend that losing those childish views also meant losing my faith in some of my writing friends. Which is a depressing thought.

Reality check. No matter how good I am, and let's be serious about this, I'm just not very experienced yet. It's my first crack at novel writing and I have probably made the mistakes every beginner makes, because I am a beginner and that's fine. But let's stop kidding around about movie deals, I'll settle for an advance of 3000$. Which is not going to happen anytime soon. It's going to take months, if not years, to find an agent. Said agent is then going to take months to sell the novel, and I'll be damned lucky if it sells to Tor or Orbit.

What am I going to do, knowing this? I'm going to write more. First I'm going to polish this novel until I think it makes sense. Then I'm going to start on a new one. Which may or may not be book two about Sol. But I think it will contain steampunk and bloodmagic, prophets and gladiators. And I think it needs an outline... And I think I need a website...

Back to work.
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So you have become more realistic, but you have not given up.
Go you!
Giving up is not an option. There's no need. I wrote this novel. I can write another and another. And I'll get better at it every time I write. This is what I want to do.

Edited at 2010-03-09 10:58 am (UTC)
Mijn moeder kent mensen die bij uitgeverijen werken. Zij vertlet me dat het voor uitgeverijen lastig is om nieuwe schrijvers uit te geven.
Het merendeel van het publiek leest alleen schrijvers die ze kennen. Een slecht boek van een bekende Nederlander (bijv een voetballer of een soapster) verkoopt altijd nog veel beter dan een goed boek van een onbekende Nederlander. Dat betekent dat het voor uitgeverijen uiterst riskant is om werk van nieuwe, onbekende schrijvers op de markt te brengen.
Tegelijkertijd zijn ze zich er wel van bewust dat ze nieuwe schrijvers nodig hebben. J.K. Rowling is immers ook ooit een onbekende nieuwe schrijfster geweest.
Iedereen is ooit begonnen als beginneling.

Als je dat in gedachte houdt kun je je voorstellen dat veel uitgeverijen terughoudend zullen reageren op je werk, zelfs als ze het goed vinden.

Maar zoals je zegt, je hebt de tijd. Als ze je nu niet goed genoeg vinden dan kan dat nog altijd veranderen in de toekomst.
There is nothing wrong with dreaming, you know. Waking up and still be motivated is much harder, and it sounds like you did that.
You are a beginner, but I can tell you right now I think there are people being published that make more beginners mistakes than you do. Specifically in writing. Have you read the da vinci code in English? it scrapes across my eyeballs...
It still doesn't mean anything really, because the publishers probably had an idea about why it would sell, and for the da vinci code they were right. It will take time, but please never lose faith in what you can do, and that even starting out you are a GOOD writer.
You read a lot, so I believe in your judgement. Thank you. That's the thing I guess. I'll do my best, but that won't make finding an agent any faster, and I doubt it will make my books anymore successful either. Because a lot of that is out of my hands. But I'll give it my best.