Thinking pose

random thought

Why is that random strangers always whistle and shout on those days when I don't feel particularly attractive?
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because they're being jerks that think your body is public domain and that you should feel better because they audibly and noticeably approve of it; rejoice and smile, woman, for a MAN approves of you!

They're trying to be nice in a way that would annoy the hell out of me if I were you?
I think it's to remind me that the whistling and shouting is not about me, it's about them...
Is it the loudness that's offending, or the fact that they're talking about you/her/the woman involved as something nice to look at rather than a person..? - ie: would it be fine if they didn't whistle/be loud, but instead discussed it in a lower tone that you wouldn't be able to overhear them? =3
People who talk about you as if you are a picture that is made for them to look at, as if they have anything to say about how you look, as if they don't need to pay attention to your feelings, that is offensive, whether you can hear it or not.
I think it goes for everyone, which is why I hate gossip magazines and programmes. Yep, I have pretty high standards.
On the other hand, most people like looking at "nice specimens of the human race", so to speak - this may be shocking, but I like that, too. That may be offensive, but I'm not paranormally gifted so that I can instantly see the personality of a woman I see passing by in the streets; when I look, I see only the picture...
I like that too. But I never respectlessly refer to them as a pretty thing. Like Damanique says, it sounds like they're whistling at a dog. "Good dog!" Well, people are not dogs. People get to be treated with respect, respect for their choices on what to wear and respect for their privacy.
I think what bothers me about it is the implication that they whistle to show their appreciation and approval of your physique, when they're complete strangers and you don't need their approval - to me it feels like people going "you're a good dog! pretty dog!" They don't know who you are, all they do is validate your physical attraction by whistling and cat-calling, thus implying that this is somehow a compliment and you should feel better because they approve of you.

It's not wrong to compliment someone on their physical attractiveness, but the public whistling/calling - from my point of view - implies that you are somehow walking there for their visual pleasure and they're letting you know that you succeeded in visually pleasing them. And that ticks me off.

A similar situation would be if a stranger came up to me in a public space and said, "you know, I think you are hot". I don't think that's a compliment, I think that's creepy. This would be different if I was, say, in a club or a bar or at a party - these are locations where *I* would be there to socialize, be noticed, and possibly attract potential mates - as it were. But if I'm walking around in a public place, across the street, my body is my own and people have no business judging it whether it is negative or positive. Whistling like that to me is just a confirmation of "woohoo! your body is public property and we get to comment on it!" It's just as bad as if someone were going "boooo" and "you are so ugly and fat!" Just because it's a positive judgment, doesn't mean the whole 'judging a woman's body in public' is any less annoying.
Heheh, no idea! What were you wearing? :)

The only two times I got hollered at here in Holland was when wearing a short skirt, and wearing running shorts which are kinda tight. (One of those bier-fiets cycled by so there were several guys yelling unintelligible stuff at me. Whether it was good stuff or bad stuff, I'll never know heheh)
Today I'm wearing a black tunic down to the knees, with leggings under it. I have also been shouted/whistled at while wearing a long wintercoat, so I have long abandoned the thought that my clothes have anything to do with it.
As far as I'm concerned people can appreciate the package and let me know they do, without knowing anything about the rest of me. They shouldn't expect me to suddenly become their best friend cause they let me know they enjoy the view, but as long as they don't overdo it I don't really mind being whistled at.

Usually men only whistle at me when I'm having an off day, and tend to try to flirt with me only when I'm having an off day. I'm not sure why, but I guess it's got something to do with me being a bit more approachable then, with how I look out into and treat the world when I'm not feeling my best.
It's simple: if you feel attractive, you radiate that.

I found that strangers don't react when I look TOO good. People whistle or comment when I look just fine. However, when I wear a dress that I know looks gorgeous on me, I only get compliments from people I know.

I think they get intimidated by self-conscious women. If you're having an off-day, they may think they actually have a chance :-)

Somewhat related is when you look 'funny'. If you wear a tiara or another 'uncommon' thing, people tend to stare and smirk. However, when you're dressed in a complete LARP outfit, people do their best not to look at you at all... :-D
You once asked me if you where confusing me. I reply'd with: Not only me, there are more on this globe that are confused upon seeing or even meeting you.

Wether you're feeling atractive or not, that's the influence you have on your immediate environment.

But trust me. Once people get to know you the confusion is gone.

On the other hand: If you're just not in the mood for any of those advances ....

I understand.
I guess I should say thanks for the compliment... even if I don't understand it.

Edited at 2010-06-15 07:59 pm (UTC)